“Algorithmic Secularism”: Reviewing the Big Ideas from 2021 on Future Commerce

Phillip: [00:01:28] Hello and welcome to Future Commerce, the podcast about the next generation of commerce. I'm so excited, I think I clipped the mic. I'm Phillip.

Brian: [00:01:34] And I'm Brian.

Phillip: [00:01:37] We're doing something a little bit different today.

Brian: [00:01:39] And if I don't make the mic pop at some point during this episode, it's just like...

Phillip: [00:01:45] This freaking guy. We haven't had... Just a quick update. We haven't had a you-me episode since Constitution DAO, and I just wanted to touch on the events of that because we left it sort of on a cliffhanger now a month ago, and I said, there's no way this thing's going to happen, right?

Brian: [00:02:05] Dude, it didn't happen.

Phillip: [00:02:07] It didn't happen.

Brian: [00:02:07] But then it happened even better.

Phillip: [00:02:08] Well, it happened better for everybody, but the creators of the project, which is the whole sad thing. So if you had...

Brian: [00:02:15] Things turned out pretty well for Packy.

Phillip: [00:02:19] Yeah, there's a couple of us that are doing ok. All right. I sold at the tippy top. I mean, as far as by the time this podcast airs. Anyway, I wanted to just close the loop on that to say we kind of started the year, we've been doing this year end review, you and me, Brian. And we went back and looked and it was like, when was the first NFT article that we wrote or the first time, we mentioned it on the podcast? And it goes all the way back to late January. And it just that feels like it was an eon ago, but it was this very same year, so a lot has happened in 2021, to say the least. Right? And you're just laughing at me now? That's what you're doing?

Brian: [00:03:08] No, I'm laughing at 2021. It was a big year. It was a big year. I was laughing because it was...

Phillip: [00:03:13] It's a disaster of a year. So, yeah 2021 was really crazy. And what we thought we would do... This is not going to be your normal recap show because I know you're going to get a lot of that in your podcast feeds here in the next two weeks.

Brian: [00:03:26] We are going to do like a lot of recapping, though, over the next couple of weeks here.

Phillip: [00:03:30] Why are you burning our playbook here? We're going... {laughter}

Brian: [00:03:34] No, it's not going to burning the playbook. I'm setting people up for success.

Phillip: [00:03:38] Ok. This is what we're doing is we're setting your expectations. We're actually this episode is going to be recapping our top five ideas of the year from us, our ideas, which is... {laughter}

Brian: [00:03:50] I feel like we might end up being more than five.

Phillip: [00:03:53] It might be, but the way we're going to cap it at five, Mr Brian Lange, is we're going to do a good old fashioned serpentine draft. Ok?

Brian: [00:04:01] Oh my gosh.

Phillip: [00:04:04] I have been wanting to do this for the longest time. We're going to finally make it happen. Let me outline the rules of what we're going to do.

Brian: [00:04:10] This is actually going to be our first draft of like many drafts. We're going to do lots of drafts.

Phillip: [00:04:15] I think we're going to do a lot. Let's get into it.

Brian: [00:04:17] Yes, ok, let's go.

Phillip: [00:04:19] Or this could go poorly and we never do it, ever. But here are the rules. Are you ready?

Brian: [00:04:24] I need to know how to play. Tell me how to play.

Phillip: [00:04:28] Ok, the rules are let's talk about eligibility. The ideas have to be expressed in written form, Mr Brian Lange. Have to be expressed in written form on a Future Commerce property in the year of our Lord Twenty Twenty One.

Brian: [00:04:42] Ok, wait. Wait, wait, hold on. We didn't talk about this beforehand, so this means The Senses are technically eligible.

Phillip: [00:04:49] They are technically eligible.

Brian: [00:04:51] Also, this means that Nine by Nine is eligible?

Phillip: [00:04:56] Nine by Nine is eligible.

Brian: [00:05:00] Yeah, can we just do The Insiders draft? I feel like...

Phillip: [00:05:04] Yeah, fine. I mean, like, you want to put guardrails on it? Because there's a lot that we write.

Brian: [00:05:07] Yes.

Phillip: [00:05:08] We wrote Vision this year. We wrote, actually, Vision was really good. Ok fine.

Brian: [00:05:11] Vision was one of my favorite things we did all year.

Phillip: [00:05:13] Let's put guardrails on it. Ok. It has to be published in Insiders and has to be at FutureCommerce.fm. How about that?

Brian: [00:05:18] {Phew} Ok.

Phillip: [00:05:19] It has to be published in writing at FutureCommerce.fm. All right. No more amending the rules.

Brian: [00:05:23] I feel better. I just need to make sure I had all the caveats in there.

Phillip: [00:05:25] Top five ideas. If this was a top 7 or top 10, it would take way too long. It's already going to take an age. I'm telling you right now. So top five ideas as published on FutureCommerce.fm. That means Insiders is eligible. Has to be in 2021. Ok? And here's what we're going to do just to make it really fair, we're going to Rochambeau, you and me. Ok?

Brian: [00:05:49] Ok.

Phillip: [00:05:49] And whoever wins gets to pick draft order. Ok, here's the draft order. If you go first, that means you get picks five, four and two.

Brian: [00:06:03] Hmm. Hmm.

Phillip: [00:06:05] If you elect to go second, that means you get three and one and you get a veto. Ok, now that you're selecting draft order, so you get to pick who goes first or I get to pick who goes first, whoever wins this very... And you're not going to see it on camera because this is an audio podcast.

Brian: [00:06:28] You'll just have to trust that we're telling the truth about who gets what.

Phillip: [00:06:29] That we definitely didn't work all this out right before the show started.

Brian: [00:06:33] Definitely not.

Phillip: [00:06:35] Definitely not. Ok, so you understand. You want to repeat the rules?

Brian: [00:06:40] Yeah, I think I've got them. So one person will get picks five, four and two, and the other person gets three and one and a veto.

Phillip: [00:06:51] And a veto.

Brian: [00:06:51] Yeah, that seems fair to me. What about things that were written by other people on our Insiders?

Phillip: [00:07:00] This is a good question. I think it's all in play, but I would love to do maybe we have...

Brian: [00:07:07] I have a couple of bonus things that I just want to call out right now. I think it's worth just calling them out.

Phillip: [00:07:12] Can we do dark horse? Why don't we do a dark horse before and a dark horse after?

Brian: [00:07:17] Oh, I like that way there's a little bit of anticipation.

Phillip: [00:07:18] In case it doesn't come up.

Brian: [00:07:19] Little bit of anticipation.

Phillip: [00:07:22] Ok, I like that.

Brian: [00:07:23] We each get one.

Phillip: [00:07:25] How about this? We'll do two Rochambeaus. This is becoming complicated. Dang it, Brian. Ok, we're going to do two. Ok, whoever... {laughter} Why are we working this out on the air? All right. Whoever gets draft order gets to do the dark horse as well, because that's just the rules. Ok?

Brian: [00:07:44] We get one each, right?

Phillip: [00:07:46] Yeah, you get first, but you get first dark horse. We just we got to make a rule.

Brian: [00:07:49] Ok. All right. All right.

Phillip: [00:07:51] This is it. We understand what's happening.

Brian: [00:07:53] All right. All right. So rock, paper, scissors.

Phillip: [00:07:55] So the inaugural draft starts with the rock, paper, scissors and you go on four. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot, right? One, two, three, go. You're ready?

Both Together: [00:08:06] Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Phillip: [00:08:08] Oh, you won. Ok. All right, so freaking A. {laughter} Ok, Brian wins. Select the draft order, Brian.

Brian: [00:08:18] Ok, I want to do five, four, two.

Phillip: [00:08:21] Ok. I humbly accept. I don't know why that's your strategy. I love that I'm going to choose one. I love I'm going to have a veto, but you get more picks and I respect it.

Brian: [00:08:31] I like more options. {laughter}

Phillip: [00:08:34] This I frickin know about you. So kicking off our inaugural draft of the top five of 2021. Top five ideas as published on FutureCommerce.fm. Brian, begin with your dark horse. I think that is where we start.

Brian: [00:08:50] Yes. Oh, it's a no brainer. It's Alex Greifeld's Dork Brands. Dork Mode.

Phillip: [00:08:57] Oh, Dork Mode.

Brian: [00:08:59] Dork Mode blew my mind.

Phillip: [00:09:04] It did.

Brian: [00:09:04] First of all, the graphic on that is like my favorite thing ever, and I want to shop at that Home Depot.

Phillip: [00:09:11] So explain the idea. Now, when you're doing this, I'm glad we're having a dry run.

Brian: [00:09:18] I know.

Phillip: [00:09:18] You went with the Dork Mode. This is great. What you have to do is, you have to say the name of the article, and then you have to give the synopsis of of what the main idea is and why you chose it.

Brian: [00:09:30] Ok. Insider's 107, published on November 11, 2021, written by Alex Greifeld. It's called Dork Mode: An Antidote to the Sea of Sameness. It's basically like, why do all the websites look the same when we have the power of the internet in our hands?

Phillip: [00:09:55] We have the power of Nerdery

Brian: [00:09:58] Yes. And basically, Alex gets into like, why isn't there more true personalization, creating experiences that are genuinely built for niche audiences?

Phillip: [00:10:13] Mm hmm.

Brian: [00:10:13] And when we first talked about this, the idea was like the internet has so much more potential. We can build anything and yet we just build these single site experiences and all personalization means is "you may also like..." {laughter}

Phillip: [00:10:38] Yeah, it's a lot of likes. Ok, I get it. It was a great piece and a good dark horse pick. I really like it. It also kind of set the stage for how we're going to do this. I really like it. It's a great pick. I would concur. I think it's a great choice. It's really fresh in my mind. We did this really great animated gifs of the dancing 13 foot skeleton and a really like a great mockup of what a Gen Z Home Depot might look like. Ok, great.

Brian: [00:11:10] Yeah. Ok, now wait before I leave, this is what I loved about...

Phillip: [00:11:14] 10 minutes in, and we're not even to the official pick, but yes.

Brian: [00:11:18] But I just want to say, like one last thing about this, I want to read something right out of the article because it just blew my mind.

Phillip: [00:11:24] {laughter} I like it. Pull quote.

Brian: [00:11:25] This was Alex's short list of the capabilities you'll need to enter Dork Mode. "One, a clear idea of the customer profile you're trying to target. Two, the ability to analyze your customer data to identify that profile. Depending on the complexity of the ask, this can range from an ESP to a CDP. Three, the ability to identify those customers on your website. This can be as simple as targeting a list of logged in accounts or as complex as integrating CDP with web personalization tech like Optimizely. Four, the resources to bring your desired experience to life. You probably need some kind of web development resource for this." Most people have this capability. You can build Dork Mode. Get there.

Phillip: [00:12:08] Wow. Ok. Wow.

Brian: [00:12:08] I told you I would make the mic pop. This is happening.

Phillip: [00:12:13] Chris is going to kill you, actually is what is going to happen.

Brian: [00:12:16] I know. Sorry, Chris. I warned you as we got into this.

Phillip: [00:12:18] You can back up. Just to hair. You're fine. Fine. Relax, relax.

Brian: [00:12:22] It was so good.

Phillip: [00:12:22] I know it's exciting. We're doing our first draft. Ok.

Brian: [00:12:24] All right. All right. All right. Ok, now I get to be up again. I get to be up three times.

Phillip: [00:12:27] Yeah, this is why I was trying to keep you from monologuing. You got to shorten these things up. All right, here it is. Now we're actually kicking it off for real. Drum roll. Please pick number five. Mr. Brian Lange, your choice at number five for the best 2021 on Insiders is...

Brian: [00:12:43] This is tough. This is tough, but I'm going to go with Insiders 88. Paula's Choice: On Blind Spots and Phase Cancelation.

Phillip: [00:12:51] Wait a second. That's not fair. You can't choose one I wrote.

Brian: [00:12:55] Yes, I can.

Phillip: [00:12:56] For the fifth spot.

Brian: [00:12:57] Yes, I absolutely... Why can't I pick one that you like? That's an honor.

Phillip: [00:13:02] It's kind of an honor, but it's also like you got to put me at the bottom. I feel it, though.

Brian: [00:13:08] I'm just all I'm saying is that this is a phenomenal article.

Phillip: [00:13:12] Thank you. It is in the top five. I like that. Meaningful.

Brian: [00:13:15] It's a top five article. June 16th, 2021 by Phillip Jackson right after the Paula's Choice acquisition, and what Phillip call out was that no one, and yes, there were people out there who said that they called this, but like no one really thought about the powerhouse that Paula's Choice was. And no one was talking about them on Twitter. No one was talking about them like anywhere, really. And yet they went for a larger acquisition than probably all of the DTC Twitter darlings that we have seen out in the space that have been acquired or have gone public. It was a two billion dollar acquisition.

Phillip: [00:14:05] Oh yeah, yeah, Unilever acquired it for two billies. And we're talking in the summer before some of the valuations in the Fall kind of got out of control. And you're right, completely off anyone's radar of the DTC darlings, and it's the OG direct to consumer brand. I like this choice at number five. This is really solid.

Brian: [00:14:28] Yeah, me too. Me too, because there is an echo chamber out there. There are OG direct to consumer brands. I think Digitally Native recently called out.

Phillip: [00:14:44] Nate Poulin.

Brian: [00:14:44] Nate Poulin. Thank you. Yes. Just called out L.L. Bean as...

Phillip: [00:14:48] I feel like that's an unfair one to to pull. It's like, Yeah, oh yeah, let's let's go L.L. Bean. It's like, well, you could argue Sears was the original direct to consumer. They had a catalog.

Brian: [00:14:59] Ok, fine. It's a little bit unfair, but if L.L. Bean was acquired for like $10 billion or whatever it is, they'd be acquired for. Actually, I don't know what they'd be acquired for. {laughter} Whatever it is.

Phillip: [00:15:11] Some Lange math there.

Brian: [00:15:12] People would be like, "My gosh, where did that come from?"

Phillip: [00:15:15] Yeah. Where did that come from? The one no one saw coming. Ok, I like this one. The other thing I'll point out from this article, if I can give my two cents on it, the thing that I really appreciated about this was just the idea that sometimes when you talk about blind spots, you know, I opened the article with this, "Everybody has a blind spot." I don't know if you've ever tried this, but hopefully you're in a safe place. Don't do this in your car. But if you cover your right eye with your right hand and you pick a point off in the distance and look at it, and then you put your left thumb up in front of you so that you're making a thumbs up with your left fist and you're looking at your thumbnail. Then start moving your thumb to the left just a little bit and then your thumb will disappear. Every single person has a physiological blind spot that you are unable to see. I love watching Brian do this right now, everybody. This is fantastic. You're unable to see, and your mind just fills in that gap. And the same thing actually happens in audio design as well. Like if you have a bunch of speakers fixed in an array, a bunch of sound sources, depending on the way that they're pointed, they will create phase cancelation and create almost like blind spots, but for audio.

Brian: [00:16:43] Wait. Isn't that how like the active noise canceling kind of works?

Phillip: [00:16:46] That's exactly how active noise canceling works. You're correct. Mr. Lange, that's an astute observation. Here's the point. We all have blind spots that we're not aware of. We all are sitting inside of Twitter bubbles that are unaware of the phase cancelation of all the noise and the cacophony that we're all subject to all the time. And I think that that was sort of the crux of the article is, well, what else are we missing? Ok, now I have soliloquied on my own piece.

Brian: [00:17:16] I want you to. I think that's good. We should each have a chance to talk about especially the ones that we wrote. {laughter}

Phillip: [00:17:25] You know what, if I could have gone back as the commissioner, I would have taken the first dark horse pick knowing that I would have fewer picks. And now you get to talk.

Brian: [00:17:32] Ha! I know. I get to talk a lot.

Phillip: [00:17:32] As the commissioner I have really screwed this up.

Brian: [00:17:37] Also coming at the end there, you're going to talk about your number one pick and then you're going to launch into yours as well. So just lots of monologuing this episode.

Phillip: [00:17:46] So at number five number 88 published in June, Paula's Choice: On Blind Spots of Phase Cancelation written by yours truly. I like that for number five. Mr. Brian, number four. Give us your number four pick.

Brian: [00:18:02] Oh, my gosh. This is tough. Ok, I'll pick one for me this time. I'll take Insiders number 70, going all the way back to January of this year. Phenomenological Brands. This is the article where I admitted that I had a perfect Lyft rating. {laughter}

Phillip: [00:18:30] Do you still have a perfect Lyft rating?

Brian: [00:18:32] You know, that's a really good question.

Phillip: [00:18:35] Ok. When I'm reacting to this choice, pull it up and I want to see it, and then I'm going to screenshot it.

Brian: [00:18:42] Ok. Cool.

Phillip: [00:18:43] Yes. Yes. Go on, go on. Go on.

Brian: [00:18:44] Oh am I supposed to look this up right now? Am I going to go look this up?

Phillip: [00:18:47] No, no, no. When I'm doing my part, when I'm talking in a second.

Brian: [00:18:50] Oh, ok cool.

Phillip: [00:18:50] Why did you choose this one?

Brian: [00:18:52] So I like this one because I feel like there is a bit of a blind spot out there. [00:18:59] I went into about how we get fixated on certain types of data, and the phenomenology effectively is the look at insight and experience that's happening in the first person. We resort to hard data or often like quantifiable knowledge instead of gathering true, in the moment insight from people from their perspective, that first person perspective, which is really, really hard to validate. [00:19:35] This is my favorite quote from this article. "Brands provide imperfect communications about imperfectly designed and imperfectly manufactured products and services, which are imperfectly interpreted and imperfectly interacted with by imperfect customers who imperfectly communicate back their imperfect experiences through very imperfect means and through imperfect modes such as words and behavior. And if they are so lucky to have the means to collect them, pitch, tone, and body language all the while in different contexts over time, which have boundless opportunity to impact experience." Experience is different from every moment to every moment. [00:20:18] And so we often don't take into account that context and often throw out or don't pay attention to data that is related to narrative. [00:20:30]

Phillip: [00:20:31] Ok, that's... I would have taken this... I got to react. I get it. You don't need to go any further. I actually want people to go read this one. I would have taken this higher. I'll be honest with you. I might have taken this at my number one.

Brian: [00:20:46] Oh my gosh. Oh wow.

Phillip: [00:20:48] I'm sort of like I might actually, I'm really considering a veto. This needs to be higher, I think.

Brian: [00:20:54] Oh, shoot. Oh man.

Phillip: [00:20:56] Actually, I don't know. Do I want to burn my veto?

Brian: [00:20:58] You might want to save your veto because you don't know what my number two is going to be. And trust me. It might blow your mind.

Phillip: [00:21:05] {laughter} There are some funny ones on this. I'll let this one stay. I'll let this one stand. I really like this. I think it's often overlooked how much context really has to do with the choices that we make and how all the data that we talk about all the time, there's you know this... You opened with sort of the four star, five star rating system. You know, because you're a goody two shoes, you've got a five star Lyft rating.

Brian: [00:21:34] I don't know how actually. While you're talking, I'm going to look this up.

Phillip: [00:21:37] Yeah, I don't have a five star Lyft rating. I'm going to tell you that right now. It's probably high fours, but you're right. We do. We we get sort of clued in on two very specific pieces of data that, at the end of the day are full of context in and of themselves.

Brian: [00:21:53] Oh, shoot.

Phillip: [00:21:55] Did you lose?

Brian: [00:21:56] No, I'm up to 243. Two hundred and forty three rides with a 5.0.

Phillip: [00:22:02] How? Not one person that you have encountered has had a bad day. Two hundred and forty three rides and not one of those persons has ever had a bad day.

Brian: [00:22:14] That doesn't seem possible.

Phillip: [00:22:17] It's insane.

Brian: [00:22:17] Something's broken.

Phillip: [00:22:18] Oh my gosh, how is this possible? I have a five star rating on Lyft.

Brian: [00:22:23] Oh, you do, too. That's actually really surprising. {laughter}

Phillip: [00:22:26] This is very surprising. One hundred and eighty seven rides. I'll show you. One hundred and eighty seven rides. I have a 5 star rating.

Brian: [00:22:30] That's amazing.

Phillip: [00:22:32] I need to see yours because I don't believe it. {laughter}

Brian: [00:22:35] It's there. It's there. Look at that.

Phillip: [00:22:36] It is. Oh my gosh.

Brian: [00:22:37] Two hundred and forty three rides for 4.7 Years with a 5.0 rating.

Phillip: [00:22:45] Four point seven years. You know, they couldn't have done like four years, nine months? I mean, what is four point seven? Ok, anyway, of course. Well, I guess I can't make fun of your five star rating anymore. How do I have five stars? That doesn't make any sense?

Brian: [00:22:58] No, that doesn't make any sense.

Phillip: [00:23:00] Ok. So yes. Great, great piece in at number four. Mr. Brian Lange's pick. Insider's number 70 written in January, kind of kicking off the year there, Mr. Lange. Insider's number 70 Phenomenological Brands and/or Context is Everything. That's my unofficial subtitle. Ok, this is my first pick. I get up right. I'm here. This is me. Three, Right?

Brian: [00:23:25] Do it. Go.

Phillip: [00:23:26] It's me, right?

Brian: [00:23:27] Go. It's you.

Phillip: [00:23:28] All right, so I've been waiting to play this one. I'm going to follow in your lead. I'm going to choose a piece that kind of made the rounds a few months after you had written it. I'm going to follow your lead, I'm going to play you. Ok, so coming in at number three, my official pick for the best of 2021 is Insiders number 77. So You Think You're a Collector? Written by Brian Lange on March 17, 2021. You know what I kind of respect the heck out of is in March in particular, and this was mere days, mere days, I think, before or mere days after we had just been talking about Top Shot, which was, you know, the NBA Top Shot was just kind of like really letting off in February, January/February time frame. And I really respected that this looked like such a fad. NFTs seemed like such a fad. Who knew that it would have the staying power to really kind of carry through the whole of 2021 and have all these communities around it? In fact, so much of direct to consumer Twitter today is consumed with NFT chatter and DAOs and all the rest. And things that we won't go into in depth here. But you actually instead of talking about NFTs, you actually took the meta concept of collecting, which certainly NFTs touch on collectibles and digital collectibles, but you actually took this to a much deeper level of understanding of what was happening psychologically and sort of the emotional exchange that's happening in the psyche of a collector and how they are taking part in an activity that really just is actually fundamentally opposed to investing. The idea of collecting is not necessarily having an appreciating asset that you one day realize the investment on. It's you collect because it's not complete until it's collected, right? And I loved this piece. You actually, in this writing unlocked a part of my brain around the difference between authenticity and provenance. And these are all ideas that certainly had been explored elsewhere. But I think you just summed it up so well. Also, I loved that you touched on Malcolm Gladwell's podcast Revisionist History, where you went into the concept of dragon psychology and how dragons hoard treasure and they don't show it off to their neighbors. And I just I love this. I just love this so much. [00:26:22] There's a value chain in collecting, authentication, investors who come in and sort of support the market and create or actually inflate the market to bring other people alongside it, create more collectors in like. I [00:26:38] just loved every part of this. Yeah, actually, it's really hard to be brief in these sections when you're kind of going on and on about something you really loved. So I really loved this piece, and a bunch of our community actually loved it, too. I saw this make the rounds a couple of times this year on Twitter, as people have sort of organically found it. A lot of fun and it's my pick for number three and my first pick of our draft.

Brian: [00:30:08] I'm sorry for like monopolizing the floor for so long, and I'm going to talk about this piece very briefly. I think the quote out of this that I would take is, [00:30:21] "Investors collect, but may not be collectors. Collectors invest, but not selling in search of ROI. The problem with investors masquerading as collectors is that they assert two forces on price. Collectors will spend what they deem available. Resale isn't on the collector's mind as they make their purchase, they're buying for joy. Investors, on the other hand, need to see something in return for their purchase. This could be in the form of productivity and social capital or financial return." [00:30:50]

Phillip: [00:30:51] And gosh, so much to go into there. I shan't at this moment, I definitely suggest you read this one. It's my pick at number three. So You Think You're a Collector?

Brian: [00:31:04] Hmm.

Phillip: [00:31:06] Ok.

Brian: [00:31:07] All right.

Phillip: [00:31:07] We're halfway through. I'm really... This is going to be your last pick.

Brian: [00:31:14] It is.

Phillip: [00:31:15] I'm scared of what it is.

Brian: [00:31:16] I'm going to push the boundaries here, and I'm hoping for a veto.

Phillip: [00:31:21] Why are you hoping for a veto?

Brian: [00:31:24] Because...

Phillip: [00:31:24] You're trying to burn my veto so you can play something even more preposterous?

Brian: [00:31:28] Yes, exactly. You nailed it.

Phillip: [00:31:30] That's not ok.

Brian: [00:31:30] Ok, I'm going to call it. You ready? First article of the year. Insiders 68, January 5th, 2021. By me.

Phillip: [00:31:39] Is this the frickin poem?

Brian: [00:31:40] Proselytize. Yes it is. It is the poem. {laughter}

Phillip: [00:31:52] Freaking A. {laughter} Brian write a freakin poem, and he sends it to me, and I forget when he's like, "What do you think about this for Insiders?" And I'm like, sitting here like, this is a funny joke, Brian. I love this and you like, "No, I'm serious."

Brian: [00:32:15] And then you read it, and you were like, "This is actually pretty good."

Phillip: [00:32:16] It was so good. I actually really liked it a whole lot.

Brian: [00:32:20] This one beats out my sonnet. The sonnet wasn't as good. This one is actually good.

Phillip: [00:32:24] The only thing...

Brian: [00:32:25] I want you to veto this. I'm actually being like...

Phillip: [00:32:28] No, I might actually consider this one.

Brian: [00:32:31] No, don't. It was a joke.

Phillip: [00:32:34] You're not supposed to tell me what to do on this draft.

Brian: [00:32:39] I've controlled this whole draft already.

Phillip: [00:32:42] And you're really driving me crazy. I'm supposed to be the commissioner here. Let me just mention that this particular piece is the thing I refer to as why [00:32:55] I believe what we do is more art than it is expert analysis, right? Or an exploration of thought leadership, right? I feel like what we're doing is trying to communicate big, hairy ideas. And sometimes you can't communicate every single idea with logic and reason, and data. Sometimes you have to communicate it with art. [00:33:24] And this piece did that for me. But as much as I love it, Brian, I have to veto this.

Brian: [00:33:32] Yes. Good. Ok.

Phillip: [00:33:34] You can't play...

Brian: [00:33:36] I'm going to go with my real one.

Phillip: [00:33:39] By the way, I have to tell you, I love this place. I love this piece. I kind of should have just let it lay at number two. I really can't. There's too many other good pieces and screw you for burning my veto,

Brian: [00:33:51] Ha! But I had one more chance to veto, so I was like, he's going to use a veto on whatever it is that I put out there.

Phillip: [00:33:53] We will get better at doing this in the future. {sigh} Every part of this is frustrating to me at this moment. It's the only time I could actually use a veto, so I'll use that. If anyone understands game theory out there, maybe help us balance this game a lot more because it's kind of a mess right now.

Brian: [00:34:14] I mean, I feel like I'm winning the game.

Phillip: [00:34:17] There's no winning because I get the last pick. I get number one.

Brian: [00:34:20] All right.

Phillip: [00:34:21] You go. You go. You gave it away.

Brian: [00:34:23] You know what's funny? You know what's super funny? Like when you normally when you're picking in a draft, the first pick is the highest. I feel like I scored at every possible level here. I had first pick on the dark horse...

Phillip: [00:34:37] Listen. You don't need to recap the whole freaking thing here. Give me your number two.

Brian: [00:34:42] I'm just saying.

Phillip: [00:34:42] That's the thing people want.

Brian: [00:34:44] I like to win. I like to win, Phillip. And I'm winning right now.

Phillip: [00:34:46] Yeah, well, you're going to lose. You're losing every moment that goes by as this show gets longer and longer.

Brian: [00:34:52] My real pick is Insiders 108, by Phillip Jackson on November 17, 2021.

Phillip: [00:34:59] Ohhh!

Brian: [00:35:01] The Idolatry of The Algorithm. This article blew my mind. This was like religious metaphor... You could even call it a parable, I guess, if we're referring back to the podcast we did recently.

Phillip: [00:35:27] {laughter} You're making fun of the fact that I called something a parable that wasn't a parable. I get it. Ok.

Brian: [00:35:32] This is not really a parable, either, but...

Phillip: [00:35:35] It was a bad analogy is what it was.

Brian: [00:35:37] It was a bad analogy.

Phillip: [00:35:38] Taken from my own real life. Yes.

Brian: [00:35:40] I feel like I won that episode as well.

Phillip: [00:35:43] I did not realize how deeply you're trying to win these episodes, and it's kind of, it makes so much more sense now. It took me five years now to figure this out. You're trying to win the show. And I didn't know we were playing a game. Now that we're playing a game now I know.

Brian: [00:36:00] Everything's a game, Phillip. Everything's a game.

Phillip: [00:36:02] It's a disaster. Why are you? Just sum it up. What stood out about this one?

Brian: [00:36:09] What stood out about this one is you talked about how algorithms are basically owning us. They're destroying us, and we worship them because we don't even know. And you talked about how your Spotify algorithm got ruined by your daughter, your daughters, and how devastating it was to you that it was ruined by them because you need that algorithm, it's like essential for you to have a good music experience on Spotify. So the point of it was that... You went into like Web3 and you went into the Metaverse and how as we're entering Web3 and we're entering the Metaverse, we're worshiping from the algorithm anxiety, right? It's a syndrome that we're getting into, and it's like, oh gosh, like, should we just all be in incognito mode at this point?

Phillip: [00:37:16] Right? How is that not built in to every AI powered, curated experience? I'll let you finish your thoughts. I have some of my own.

Brian: [00:37:29] I think this is a great quote.

Phillip: [00:37:32] Why are you choosing all the quotes? I get to choose a quote here.

Brian: [00:37:35] All right. Pick a quote out of this or your number one pick. Hold on. I'm going to just I just like this quote, [00:37:40] "The awareness of being watched and our actions tattling on us is shaping how we spend money, who we interact with online, and eroding our tolerance for risk. It's changing how we interact socially. Without controls in place to allow us to have behavior modes or the ability to take on pseudonymous personality as well in the Metaverse, we run the risk of having our virtual world experiences shape our real world behavior. Algorithm anxiety could intensify and spill over into IRL." And [00:38:13] I thought that was really, really, really powerful.

Phillip: [00:38:15] Oh, thank you. I actually... The piece... We're going to wind up reading this whole thing. The part that I wanted to write and the part that I work the hardest on was this, which was this quote here. And just to set it up, it's that like services like Spotify learn over time, right? But then that learning can be undone, and it lends us to having a great experience. So here's the quote. "But what we gain in experience we trade off in a background static of worry and paranoia about ruining some perceived gain or progress. A squandered time investment made in perfecting the engine, and when the engine works in our favor, it feels like a divine blessing. When it works against us, it feels like punishment."

Brian: [00:38:20] That's a great quote. That's better than what I read.

Phillip: [00:39:04] And I go on and say, "It seems to me then that algorithm anxiety has similar symptoms and effects as psycho spiritual stressors. We've created new invisible gods whose blessings are fleeting and whose curses are everlasting, except that instead of eternal life, we discover more bands like Anderson Pack." That's the piece I would have chosen, but I like that some other part of it connected with you. I like this pick. This is a great pick.

Brian: [00:39:36] Oh man, it's so good.

Phillip: [00:39:39] Thank you.

Brian: [00:39:39] It's so, so good. You know what's interesting about this article is I feel like if I was going to add on to it, I would be like, I kind of just don't believe in the gods right now. My Amazon is so messed up because of gifting and because my wife shops on our Amazon more than I do. I can't even trust Amazon to give me any kind of recommendation. I don't look at any recommendations from Amazon. That's how bad it is because we share an account. And my Spotify is also a mess. My look back on the year is a disaster. Nothing to do with me.

Phillip: [00:40:22] Your Spotify Wrapped?

Brian: [00:40:23] Yes, my Spotify Wrapped is a mess.

Phillip: [00:40:26] Well, one of the problems there that you know, hey, I think I covered in this article is it's very easy to solve Brian. You know what you need is you need Spotify family that you have to pay more for where everybody has their own algorithm.

Brian: [00:40:40] No, no, no. I have my own. I have Spotify Duo, so my wife and I can have our own accounts. But guess what happens? I never set up her account on Alexa.

Phillip: [00:40:49] That's your fault. That's just rookie. That's a rookie mistake.

Brian: [00:40:53] That's a rookie mistake. In fact so what I think I hear you saying is we have to believe in the gods for them to work for us.

Phillip: [00:41:00] I kind of like this algorithmic secularism, though.

Brian: [00:41:03] Yeah.

Phillip: [00:41:04] There's a show title, Kaylee. I really like this idea of algorithm secularization. You have just decided there's nothing you can do to fix this falling out that you've had with the algorithm. So you have just given up.

Brian: [00:41:23] Yeah, exactly.

Phillip: [00:41:26] There's no coming back from it.

Brian: [00:41:27] Yeah. And like if I really believed in the algorithm gods I would be investing in them like, oh, we have to have separate accounts.

Phillip: [00:41:37] We make sacrifices to it.

Brian: [00:41:38] Yes, exactly. We invest in it. Yeah.

Phillip: [00:41:42] You take an oath.

Brian: [00:41:43] We follow the rules of the algorithm. {laughter}

Phillip: [00:41:47] Well, one of the things actually that I talked about in this piece was the Hawthorne effect, which is this, you know, this very famous psychological study where people's behavior appeared to change when they thought that they were being monitored. So people act a certain way when they think that they're being watched. I know that I act a certain way. People like you, you're like, "Hey, check out this new band," and I'm like, "Screw that, I don't want to mess my algorithm up."

Brian: [00:42:24] Oh my gosh, you don't even take personal recommendations because of the algorithm.

Phillip: [00:42:27] I will not. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

Brian: [00:42:31] Your gods are strong.

Phillip: [00:42:33] Yeah. I would be. I'm being led astray. You're a heathen. {laughter}

Brian: [00:42:39] Yeah. So when I told you that rock music is not dead, you're like, "No, the algorithm gods told me it was."

Phillip: [00:42:45] Yeah, no, I'm telling you. Everyone knows that rock music is dead. By the way, rock music is dead because guitarists in particular are too busy trying to impress each other, drummers are exactly the same. I think actually direct to consumer, you know, could suffer the same fate is that instead of making brands the whole world once, people are too busy making brands that other direct to consumer founders are envious of. That's a whole other story.

Brian: [00:43:15] I would contend that rock is not dead and that Spotify has just conditioned you to think that it is.

Phillip: [00:43:20] No. I think rock is dead. I'm sorry. All right. That's your pick. Ok, so just wrapping up. At number two, Brian Lange chooses, and I'm quite flattered, Insider's number 108, published in November.

Brian: [00:43:36] I couldn't pick one, so I couldn't make it pick number one.

Phillip: [00:43:38] The Idolatry of The Algorithm.

Brian: [00:43:41] That would have been my number one pick.

Phillip: [00:43:41] He interrupts me as I'm mentioning... This is how much respect he has for me.

Brian: [00:43:44] I was flattering you even further.

Phillip: [00:43:45] He's got to win every part. I love it. I didn't know that you're trying to win this show, and now I get it.

Brian: [00:43:54] You don't understand, draft's just make me think fantasy football.

Phillip: [00:43:58] Yeah, man. I didn't realize how into this you were going to get, and I really screwed the pooch with the dark horse up front. That gave you way too much of a platform. You got all warmed up.

Brian: [00:44:06] There's a lot of like deep psychological stuff going on here. With drafts.

Phillip: [00:44:10] Oh. Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot of competition. Ok. That means I have no veto left. Oh, you don't have a veto. Obviously.

Brian: [00:44:24] You get to pick number one. It's all you.

Phillip: [00:44:24] So I get number one, unfettered, I can choose whatever I want. {laughter}

Brian: [00:44:35] Oh gosh.

Phillip: [00:44:38] {Maniacal laughter} I really wanted to, if I were going to play this the Brian Lange way, I would pick my own to try to say I've won this in some way. Actually, I just I have to go with my gut. The piece that shaped every piece that I wrote there after was a piece that was published in April by you, good sir.

Brian: [00:45:02] Aw sheesh.

Phillip: [00:45:03] Aw sheesh. {laughter} In fact, it's the piece that actually that blew my mind because you really, I think you had mentioned this a number of times to me, and I kind of shrugged at you. I was like, "Meh. I don't know if I understand what the heck you're talking about," and then you put it into prose. And when I read it, I was like, oh my gosh, not only do I get this, but I absolutely believe that this is a thing and it kind of set the stage, I think, for a lot of the conversations that we had there after. I'm talking about our number one pick, what I believe or what Future Commerce is ranking for itself because you and I, this is the definitive draft, {laughter} as according to the rules that we made up forty two minutes and fifty seconds ago, Insiders number 80, Rethinking Brand Power Structures, written by Mr. Brian Lange on April 14, 2021.

Brian: [00:46:01] Foucault?

Phillip: [00:46:02] Fourcault. It taught me so many things. It taught me number one a lot about Aristotelian philosophy, which I did not know that I wanted to know anything about. Instead of psychology, which we've touched on a couple of times already, like the psychology of a collector, the psychology of brands, this actually goes into philosophy. And I found this to be endlessly fascinating about the way, in particular, the way that power balances and power dynamics between groups are played out. And what you do is you're basically saying that there is a power... I want you to confirm this, because this is sort of the thing that I took away is that there is actually always a struggle for power kind of like on this podcast right now. {laughter}

Brian: [00:46:58] Apparently. {laughter}

Phillip: [00:47:00] That I did not know existed until this episode. It took me two hundred and fifty episodes, but there's a power struggle and the power struggle is, we may have said in previous times, "Oh, well, there are some duplicitous or dark behaviors that maybe merchants wield over us, you know, an unsuspecting customer to try to get them to convert," right? "Oh wait, how did they even find themselves on the website in the first place? So there's a power structure at play that was manipulating them through an ad, you know, through advertising." And well, how did that ad get in front of them? There's a power structure at play that selected them as being susceptible, uniquely susceptible based on some personality traits they have or who they are, like an age group or a lookalike audience. There's a power structure at play that is being unfairly wielded against the unwashed masses who buy our products. But in this Foucault power structure model that you go... Because there's this Aristotelian sort of power structure or power dynamic, then you talk about, well, maybe Aristotle's power structure is the wrong one to be emulating or the wrong one to be setting forth as an example. Like actually the thing that is the balanced power and force relation between these struggles for power, whether the customer is going to wield more power over the merchant or the merchant is going to wield... Well, no, no, no. The way we balance it is through discourse because discourse transmits power. It produces power, reinforces it, and it puts us on a level playing ground. And we say this all the time. We've said it like a million different ways, the best way and the most obvious example is we always tell, I always go back to how, oh, shoot... His name is escaping me now, the CTO of Walmart, who went on to Pinterest.

Brian: [00:49:13] Oh yeah. Jeremy King.

Phillip: [00:49:15] Yeah, Jeremy King was on the show, and Jeremy King, I guess, did a stint at eBay at some point, and he told the story about every year Meg Whitman would make every single executive sit on a week of customer support because you can never forget who you're in support of and who you serve in the business, and that that kind of grounded everybody and what the mission was and people didn't dread it. Like they looked forward to it because in actuality, sometimes helping people feels really good. And so his takeaways are just talk to your customers [00:49:52]. You want to know what they want. Talk to your customers. And this supports that notion that having discourse is actually the future of brand building and building equitable brand relationships between your customers who trust you and having trust with the brands that we give our money to. I thought it was brilliant, and it's changed the way I think about everything. So thank you for writing it, and it's my pick at number one. [00:50:19]

Brian: [00:50:20] Shoot. That's kind. I feel like you do win this because now I feel embarrassed.

Phillip: [00:50:26] Ha ha ha ha. I won after all.

Brian: [00:50:29] Shoot. That was, yeah, that was a confusing article to write because I had trouble expressing those thoughts myself.

Phillip: [00:50:39] If I had to say it is a very long piece that probably could have, you know, if we had an editor on staff at Future Commerce, both of us would be a little more brief, but I will say that every word packs a punch and it's all there for good reason. So thank you and thank you for getting write to the point and not having to like flour it up and pepper it up with a bunch of like personal anecdotes. I actually I suffer from that a lot in my writing. I kind of loved that this was it was uniquely you, but it was straight into the point and didn't mince any words or waste any time.

Brian: [00:51:17] But I like the flowery stuff too. That's fun

Phillip: [00:51:21] When you have time for it. You know what? I bet you anything my pieces... I haven't looked into this. I bet my pieces sit in people's inboxes longer. Like, "Oh, I've got to buckle up for a Phillip piece."

Brian: [00:51:30] No, no, not true. Not true at all. If I had to pick... So there was a couple of things in here that I did want to point out. I think one of the things that I wrote in here as kind of like a transition between Aristotelian...

Phillip: [00:51:46] You can't even say it.

Brian: [00:51:48] Oh my gosh, it's late. It's very late. And then Foucault was this idea that brands today don't really have an understanding of how much power they have. And I've seen a few others out there kind of speak to this in very like specific terms, but brands don't understand what they can and can't do with their customers. They don't know, like if they were to hike their prices by one hundred percent, what would that do to their customers? They don't know that.

Phillip: [00:52:31] We're about to find out thanks to inflation.

Brian: [00:52:35] That's true. That's a really good point. Actually that will be really interesting. And I think who was it that wrote about this recently? Like basically said that exact thing. Inflation is going to be a good test for which brands have staying power and which ones don't. Probably would have been really good knowing that going into this period. Might be a little late.

Phillip: [00:52:57] Oh, no. One hundred percent.

Brian: [00:53:00] So yeah, and I just feel like the balance of power is not known. Therefore, how much, what needs to be done with your customers to lead them to the next step is very difficult to discern. And so I do like Foucault's approach better. The idea that power is 100 hundred percent external. It's very difficult to discern what actually influences something. I think I was making the point that Aristotle's model is like people have innate tendencies, and to some degree, that's true...

Phillip: [00:53:39] Yeah, as we've discovered during this podcast, there's an innate tendency that you have to dominate and win that I didn't realize existed.

Brian: [00:53:46] Oh, it's there.

Phillip: [00:53:47] Actually, I should have known this. I might have mentioned this on the podcast before. The way that we met was you insulting the way that I shuffle cards.

Brian: [00:53:59] {laughter} That's true.

Phillip: [00:53:59] It was during a game, and you were very competitive during the game. I didn't actually take a liking to you during that game.

Brian: [00:54:07] I think you won that game, though, so you should feel good.

Phillip: [00:54:09] Oh, oh, I remember winning and being like, "I don't know how I'm winning this, you guys. This is great." I won a good couple of hundred bucks as I remember it.

Brian: [00:54:20] You know what happened the next year when we played the same game is you and I were the both the first people out.

Phillip: [00:54:24] First people out. Yeah, it was a back room poker game. It's terrible, actually.

Brian: [00:54:29] It was terrible.

Phillip: [00:54:31] All right. Sorry, I had cut you off your last thoughts on this piece on brand power structures.

Brian: [00:54:38] Yeah. So I was just getting to the quote that I was going to read since you didn't read a quote. {laughter}

Phillip: [00:54:42] Go, oh, sorry. After I complained. Sorry.

Brian: [00:54:48]  [00:54:48]"What does this mean for retailers? If you want to be more than a brand that just sells things, you need to provide ways for honest discussions with your customers. Concepts like content, community, education, curation, gatherings, spaces, dining/meals, activities, one to one listening, organizing, clarifying, small groups, large groups, free flow, guided." Those are the concepts that I think lead to actual power or at least lead to the potentiality of power because what's actually required to wield power is very, very difficult to understand. [00:55:27]

Phillip: [00:55:28] Yeah, 100 percent. Let me just say that since you've written this, we have been pulling together our community in Future Commerce, in events. We've been having dining and meals and gatherings and spaces. We have had small groups and large groups and community, and we're building education. And when you have all those things, all together, yeah, we're sparking discourse. We're living out this very thing that you wrote that I think is so very powerful, and it's why it was my pick at number one. Great job in writing this this year. I didn't count up the tally, but let's run it down one last time just so that we can have the, you know, let's recap.

Brian: [00:56:11] The definitive guide.

Phillip: [00:56:13] Yes. And number five, we had Insiders number 88, Paula's Choice: On Blind Spots and Phase Cancelation. At number four we had Insiders number 70, Phenomenological Brands, which was from our January edition. At number three, we had Insiders number77, So You Think You're a Collector, written by Mr. Brian Lange. That was in March. I vetoed. I slapped it down when Brian tried to put in his poem here.

Brian: [00:56:49] Proselytize.

Phillip: [00:56:50] Proselytize. But we did actually wind up picking at number two, we have Insiders number 108, The Idolatry of The Algorithm, written by yours truly. And at number one, our best idea of the year, as published on FutureCommerce.fm, according to the rules that we made up fifty four minutes ago, Insiders number 80 written by Brian Lange, Rethinking Brand Power Structures. Ok, you had one thing to interject.

Brian: [00:57:18] I think because you vetoed my poem that you should have to read it in like a dramatic reading at the end. You're going to have to read it. {laughter}

Phillip: [00:57:26] All right. Stick around to the end. Stick around to the end. I will do a dramatic reading after the credits. After the credits, I will do a dramatic reading.

Brian: [00:57:35] No way. That was a joke. Oh my gosh.

Phillip: [00:57:36] Chris, we're going to put in music under the dramatic reading. I'm writing a production cue right now. Preferably something Baroque.

Brian: [00:57:47] Have you ever read poetry out loud? Not Baroque. This is not a sonnet. This is...

Phillip: [00:57:52] Yeah, I hear it. Ok. So I get to do my dark horse, and this can be really quick. I have heard more positive feedback about Jesse Tyler's piece from July. Jesse, our creative director, often sits in for these really like sort of, I would say, very different kinds of pieces. I love he takes big swings, and he thinks totally differently to the way that I do. And thank God for it because he has some of the best content. I've heard from more people in person that this was one of their favorite articles of the year. It was Insiders number 92, These Brands I Trust. Didn't make it to my draft, but I really loved this and These Brands I Trust just kind of runs down the sort of absurdity of certain old design patterns like Ezekiel Bread or Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar. It clocks in at like, I think, barely 400 words, maybe 500 words. It's our shortest piece of the year, but it definitely packed a punch because there are so many brands that had to, before the age of of television and Tik Tok, and before podcast advertising and Casper Mattress and Audible.com, you know, coupon code, you had to communicate all of the value of what your product did on the label, and that led to a very specific kind of a design pattern. And actually kind of if those brands are still sticking around so many decades and maybe centuries later, hey, they must be pretty good, right? And so those might be brands that you trust. I really love this piece. It's my dark horse. Didn't make it to my draft, but I loved it.

Brian: [00:59:49] And I love this piece because Jesse opens with gardening.

Phillip: [00:59:56] It doesn't take much to please you. Have you ever used Kellogg fertilizer or whatever it was? The soil?

Brian: [01:00:03] No, wait. Yeah, I actually have. I have.

Phillip: [01:00:07] It's a potting soil.

Brian: [01:00:08] Yeah, the whole branding is like it's very unmistakable. Yeah, yeah.

Phillip: [01:00:14] It's so interesting. All right. Well, anyway, any final words? If we can possibly keep this to an hour. I'm like, I'm so impressed with us right now.

Brian: [01:00:24] We did it.

Phillip: [01:00:24] I jockeyed the time, the whole way through. No, nothing?

Brian: [01:00:28] I think we're good. We're good. I mean, I think to quote Jesse's article, "I'm not that cheap," but that didn't even fit.

Phillip: [01:00:36] I don't know what that means, but I love it.

Brian: [01:00:37] I just wanted to get another quote in.

Phillip: [01:00:39] You tried. You really tried. Ok, here's what we're going to do. We will do our usual pitter patter. We're going to have a dramatic reading after the outro music is done, and that's it. Thank you for listening to Future Commerce. We're glad that you took time to do it. I want to get your voice incorporated into this episode. Give us some feedback. Drop us a line at hello@FutureCommerce.fm. More episodes of this podcast can be found anywhere podcasts are but also at FutureCommerce.fm, and you can subscribe to our newsletter, which comes out twice a week, Wednesdays and Fridays. And we write an original essay, one of which is featured every Wednesday, and that's what we chose from here today. You can find more of these essays at, hey, you guessed it, FutureCommerce.fm, and if you subscribe to our newsletter, you're going to get The Senses on Friday. And The Senses is our exploration of brands and the reason why they exist and how they appeal to us as people and our place in the world that fits in around the things we buy. We love that that newsletter comes out every Friday and yeah, we've got a lot of great stuff coming up. Thank you for listening to Future Commerce. Remember, the future is what we make of it. Let's shape the future we all want to live in together. Ok, are you ready for a dramatic reading?

Brian: [01:01:55] Oh gosh.

Phillip: [01:01:57] Insiders number 68. Proselytize. Down the funnel, push em, shove em. In clicks and bits to tunnel vision, addictions of zippers and denim trips and traps always come back. Down the funnel, scare em, dare em with clocks and counts to panic purchase, searchers bound to fear the end. The pretended lend of a discount friend. Down the funnel, bate em, snare em by dreams and doubts to ease the day. Pieces of place that smoldering clay ever keep up, never look 'way. Down the funnel. Charm em. Warm em through pics and lives to high aspire looks and peeps. Sundering goats by texting sheep to convert all hopes. Proselytize, by Brian Lange.

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